Get your own
 diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries newest entry

2017-09-06 - 2:21 p.m.

SEE YA

**I read over this at a later date and felt TERRIBLE for writing it. It's mean- spirited as all get out...so I softened it. I blame menopause. It was all truth...but I had exaggerated just a tad. I digress. To quote 011, "I am the monster."

I am giddy today.

We buried my mother in law today.

I'm horrible.

Let me explain.

SHE ...was horrible. She was a testy, negative woman who chain-smoked and pill-popped her way to ill health, including a massive heart attack in '06, and then onto a massive stroke in 2011 which sidelined her with paralysis. Her mind remained intact, if it ever *was* intact.

I realize I sound like a monster, but I'm calling a spade a spade.

Ginger was deliberately mean. She seemed to be trying to kill her caretaker, my elderly FIL, by insisting he lift her from her bed at insane hours and then make him sit, awake, solely to watch her slump by the door, chain-smoking and being miserable. She would insist on her sleeping pills early, then conk out in the early evening and awaken refreshed and ready to chain-smoke at 1am. HE didn't get to sleep until about 10:30 or 11...SHE didn't care. If he refused to get up and lift her, she would plead every few seconds until he (angrily) gave in. His hernia doctor, who eventually tried to fix the mess in his guts, called it "the worst he had ever seen in his 30 year career of doing hernia surgery", and told Papa to never again lift anything over 40 pounds, because there was SO MUCH netting inside him, precariously arranged, that "you do NOT want me to have to go back in there." Ginger didn't care about all that. She wanted to smoke. It seemed she stepped up her need to be lifted.

She had once said to him,(and whether or not this was said in jest is undetermined) "I hope you die first." I believe she wanted to prevent him having another woman after she was gone.

Ginger was quick to insult people under the guise of "joking". She made weird demands and complained bitterly always. She mistrusted and disliked ALL women...even those who attended her and tried to be nice. it was jealousy...she thought all women were after her husband. The insane jealousy extended even to her own granddaughter, whom she always treated with mild contempt. Nutty.

When I would visit, she had to smoke. My lung condition must've been an irresistible draw for her. She could not smoke fast nor near enough. When I bought her gifts, she let me know they didn't fit, weren't right, weren't useful, etc. I learned to buy flowers and candy only...and only the ones she liked. I learned that after presenting a bouquet to be told, "I hate carnations".

Ginger was a treat. Now she's gone. I didn't see ONE wet eye in the joint. Not ONE.

Now Papa is free to fish, free to run all over town if he wants, free to go to the lake, free to sing, to dance, to make friends. He lived through it.

You didn't get him, Ginger.

Enjoy heaven, Ginger. I hope you got to go.

Welcome back to the land of the living, Papa. So glad you DIDN'T go.

<3


free hit counter

0 comments so far

previous - next

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!