2022-04-19 -

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I love my band.

I wasn't going to do it; I was afraid to commit. I'm SO glad I went forward!

I hate that I very nearly missed this due to fear of the unknown.

My band has been a highpoint, a blessing, a release, a way to get my ego on without putting myself in any precarious position, taverns packed with bikers and partying college students notwithstanding. It helped me to drop the excess weight I had carried for a decade, it prods me to do the exercise, tone the arms, buy the boots...it justifies the purchase of pretty push-up bras and things, and the regular infusions of blonde into my no-longer-anywhere-near-naturally-blonde-hair. It gives me the chance to dress up like a diva and strut my femwoo to the maximum. I've always felt a bit self-conscious doing that but when you're onstage, you MUST, and I certainly do. And it's fun. This band is a ticket to do the things I've always wanted to do. I have probably mentioned before that all my youthful fantasies involved me, getting on stage and making music that surprised and stunned my peers. Of course, I'd be listening to Van Halen and pretending it was me on guitar in those fantasies, and THAT never happened...but this is very similar, and it's so satisfying that it almost makes me feel high. Being in this band gives me the push to do the things I didn't have the motivation to do before, and the confidence to do the things I was too reserved to do before. I just let it all out, and it is...magic. It recharges my soul, even when my voice is tired or the week's been long and my body is ready to rest. I make my entrance, sing my songs (other people's songs. lol) soak up the positive vibes and love, and then I fritter away, solo, to my private life. It's perfect.

There is also great satisfaction in knowing I am now a part of that scene I was drawn to for so long. We gig in and around the very places I visited for vacation over and over again. I LOVE this place, and now I'm a notable part of it's music scene! It just gives me much happiness.

In other news, the "band leader" (read: guy who had the least musical talent, but owned the PA. They say that's how it always goes) got angry because a couple of members would not simply accept his decisions as the rule, and so, he quit. We've had to purchase our own PA in short order as we're booked and don't want to miss a single gig. The stars aligned; we found a great sound board, along with new mains, monitors and all the FREAKING EXPENSIVE cords necessary to make it all work. So, we're out a large sum, but split 5 ways it's not so bad, and we are ready to rock.

And we will do that tonight. :) I'm a happy Leo.

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