2003-10-14 - 12:03 p.m.

Teets Hates Jesus

Stupid computer. Dangit.

This is my fiftieth attempt to make an entry, as my FEEBLE computer and it's FEEBLE connection (dial up, friends. Yes, that's right.) are FEEBLE and suck languidly on the long flappy shaft of weakness and aggravation.

Hmmmmm? What's that? Wilberteets, my sister? Why yes! Teets DOES have DSL. Why?

Whatsat you say? Why didn't I then think of networking? Why, actually, I did!

Equipment? Yes, I bought some...how much, you say? Awwwwwww, I spent about a hundred and forty bucks. Say huh? Why isn't it working then?

Well, I don't rightly know why it doesn't work. I just know I can't get a sentence down without this feeble beeotch before me taking a dirtnap and erasing it all. Hmmmmmm?

Why doesn't Teets help me, you ask?

Why, because Teets hates Jesus, of course. She knows I love Him, and that's not hip in her heathern world.

Until I give in completely and become a voodoo priestess, she won't call the guy who can fix my stuff and make it so I can check mail without getting logged off twenty times.

::sigh::

If only Teets didn't hate Jesus so much.

The sad thing is, I've been trying to get this entry done for so long that now I'm tired and I don't care anymore. Soooooo, since it's all Teet's fault, I'll take a moment to tell you that she also laughed maniacally when our very old, very fragile Great Grandmother fell down the steps. And that when I was a baby, she tried to kill me by digging my not-yet-ready-to-come-off umbilical scab out of my navel. And that she also hates bunnies and Mother Theresa. She makes fun of the infirm, steals change out of the coin cups of the blind, and goes to nursing homes just to tell sweet old grannies that they're going to die soon.

And did I mention that she hates Jesus?

Well, she does.

And bunnies.

Dang, I'm tired. And somehow, that's her fault, too. Bunny hater. (She did buy some Krispy Kremes, though...which makes up for a lot of Jesus hating. Not all, but some.)

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