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2006-10-20 - 3:59 p.m.

MISTAKEN IDENTITY

I just hashed over another person. It was fun and I feel guilty. Not too guilty to recount it blow-by-blow, but guilty.

Just now, my control room door opened and a visitor came in. I had heard strains of the visitor's voice before the door opened, and I assumed by the tone it would be Paul, a genial but troll-like fellow with hygeine issues with whom I've worked on and off for a number of years. Instead, it was my boss.

I blurted that I'd expected him to be Paul, and he was *hilariously* aghast. It devastated him that I had, for even a split-second, thought he was Paul. I told him I had made the assumption based on sound alone, but it was no use. He was crushed. I'd mistaken him for Paul, and now he'd have to kill himself. It got funny to both of us.

I told him of the time, many years ago, when Paul nearly killed me with a molecule of spittle. I was chatting with him (at quite a distance, I might add) when he beat the odds and landed a wee but mighty spittle-sphere on my lower lip, dead center.

Paul's breath is a thing to behold; a peeler of paints, a scorcher of cornea, the most hideous of stinks. When I felt it land, I knew I had a ball of Paul's Liquid Stink ON MY LIP, and I froze, all akimbo, before springing into action and hurling myself into the washroom where I scrubbed the affected lip until it literally swelled.

The boss and I mused a moment, contemplating Paul's wives...both wives...and what they may have seen...then stopped ourselves before we both went simultaneously blind in violent barfing bouts. We enjoyed it a little too much, I think, this outlining of someone else's shortcomings...then we laughed.

I went about my business when the boss left the room, but then he returned to pick up a folder, saying defeatedly,

"It's Paul, again. Man. I'm gonna be sick all weekend long."

hahahahaha


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