2022-06-19 - 2:07 p.m.

-

Last night we played the main drag in our college town. It was Pride, so I found out how that works. Apparently people are proud of their butt cheeks, their boobs, and the ability to leave their homes and go out in public with a large portion of their junk on display.

To each his own I suppose. But if I had boobs on my back, I would cover that up. I can't think of a single reason, beach or otherwise, to go out in public with your butt cheeks out if you're over 4 years old.

I saw a lot of people who look like pork roasts tied up with string. If you're reading this and you find yourself offended, you must be a pork roast. A pork roast who is not self-aware enough to know how to dress. Because guess what? I, too, am a pork roast. Oh, you can't tell that when I'm dressed (for the most part) because I dress modestly, in a way that flatters my shape. I would not, for Pride nor any amount of money, go outside wearing a strappy number meant for someone with zero body fat. That makes one look like one of those stress balls that ooze through its outer casing with pressure. It's not cute, and the only statement it makes is: I am an opportunistic moron, and I like carbs.

Funny the only people I saw with their bulbous bits on display were people who could use a little time on the elliptical. Or perhaps 17 years straight on the elliptical.

You may find this to be "fat shaming*. False; it is *lack of self-awareness shaming". It is "ignorant of basic modesty" shaming. It is "you have no common sense" shaming.

If you feel violated, you're exactly who needs to read this. You have a lot more to offer, and a lot more to be proud about, than your right to walk around with your butt cheeks on display.

There, I said it.

�

�

previous - next