Get your own
 diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries newest entry

2007-03-27 - 12:25 a.m.

WHEN HE SAYS FROG, I JUMP.

A hunky gentleman friend of mine has requested that I write here *more* than once a year. Because he is groovy, I have decided to oblige him rather than be difficult. He's very convincing. (read: I am a pushover.)

It's not that I haven't had anything to write about, but more that the things that have been bouncing around in my skull have been plaintive and petty; the result of having my pride dented. It's all I've wanted to write about because my pride is pretty huge and I hadn't expected what I got in the least. The good news? Humbling experiences build character, and I have a colossal new character sculpture to marvel at.

The sister and I went on a trip together over this past weekend. We went to our favorite spot, the spot we love, the spot of all spots...Hot Springs. Turns out that since our last visit, our three main reasons for loving the destination have been ripped away. The Majestic, our grand old hotel has been completely shut down. We don't understand the reasons (surely financial) and we were bummed. In the basement of that legendary hotel there had been a *fine* spa, and we were horrified that it was all gone. Not gone, but dark and unoccupied and on it's way to being made into condos. Curses!

We brushed our misery aside and ran for the comfort of our other favorite place, The Bohemia, where the wall-eyed and elderly Austrian man made the finest schnitzel EVAH. When we saw the "closed" sign in the window, we were more than appalled. CLOSED?! WHAT DO YOU MEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAN CLOSED? Oh, so you want a year or two of rest in the dwindling autumn of your life, eh, proprietor? YOU COULD HAVE AT *LEAST* BROKEN OFF ONE LAST POTATO PANCAKE!!!! I actually pressed my face up to the glass and whined like a tard. We'll miss that place; it, like The Majestic, was one of a kind.

Those two disappointments were horrible....but at least we had the wonderful Greek place to look forward to, right? EEEEENNNNKKKKKKK!! WROOOOOOOOOOONG. Closed as a mahfaggah. We could. Not. Believe. It.

3 pinnacles of greatness, gone...and we were two angry beavers. Still, we managed to find a comparable spa and enjoyed other dining experiences. The fare at the other German place did not compare but satiated our need for red cabbage and schnitzel, however pale in comparison to Adolph's. The major failure of "The Other" German place was the foisting of a complete dildo upon the hapless diners. A towering, skinny dude with a huge, rubbery trout mouth, trussed up in a red jumpsuit and a dumb-ass Gilligan hat, playing Pointer Sisters tunes on a TUBA. You read that right. Usually I am a fan of kitsch, but this guy pissed me off. It was his abrasive singing style as much as his obnoxious red onesie that made me want to bludgeon him with the tuba. Note to self; never again dine at the Brauhaus on a Friday night.

That wraps up the trip tale...now a funny thing: tonight my littlest and I were decorating a big one-dimensional paper Easter egg that will go on the wall at her school tomorrow. We were painstakingly decorating using fabric paints I had on hand when the orange suddenly stopped easily coming out of the dispenser, dwindling to nothing. Pressure was applied...then more...then more...then BLAM! The lid blew off with a loud report and the kid and I were both instantly and liberally striped with thick orange paint. It scared the beans out of us both and we screamed simultaneously, and then laughed our heads off...the kind of laugh that makes your stomach hurt. Check out my nightgown, ugly enough to begin with, but now at a whole new level of awful:

and here's our egg, by the way.


Well...tomorrow, it's back to work, and I'm ready...but I've got things to do in preparation. Time to go try to get the paint off of my right boob, for instance, because we all know I cannot work with an orange teat.
It just wouldn't be right.

I hope this entry meets your approval, OBF. It's special, juuuust for yeeew. I'll try to be more writey.

Lerve,
Myra


ADDENDUM: I'm Tiger Teat! Rowwwwwrrrrrrrrr!


free hit counter

2 comments so far

previous - next

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!