2008-08-07 - 8:15 p.m.

G, I FEEL LIKE A JERK

Guys, there's been a time or two in entries past when I have been less than kind about a co-worker of mine, a fellow who calls himself The G Man. That's because The G Man has the ability to crawl under your skin and fart within minutes of the start of conversation. He's abrasive, and he can't seem to help it. He irritates people. I don't even think he recognizes this about himself...I think *he* thinks he's colorful and entertaining. ...Acutally, he IS...but in the same way Gilbert Gottfried is. Capice?

So, I've found that although he still irritates the soup out of me, he IS an okay guy most of the time, if you can stomach the never-ending, old-guy-takes-repeated-lame-stabs-at-comedy monologue he continually spews. He is TRYING
to be pleasant, and he deserves credit for that, I suppose. That said, he is still a wrinkly old dude who belts his
pants far too close to his nipples, and today he asked me a question a beef-jerky-lookin' fellah like himself should
never ask: "How old do you think I am? Go on, guess."

I refused to guess, because I know Mister Spry is under the illusion that he is youthful. He is equating his upbeat, kinetic, scuttling manner with youth, when it comes off much more,
"Grampa ate some meth". I said no, because my genuine guess of his age would be firmly into the 60's, and I didn't want to go there if he hadn't yet hit that mark. In hindsight, I should have just gone ahead and said "48", to thrill his ol' soul. But I refused to guess. it's a good thing I did...he's only 58. Poor buddy.

He's not the ugliest guy in the world, though, and he's happy with himself, and I guess that's all that matters. He's got a pleasant looking, nice gal who's been with him for a few years, and she loves him for who he is. I see her kiss him when she drops him off. It's all very sweet, I'm glad for him. Everybody deserves love. Still, I shudder when I see it. I can't help but momentarily imagine what it must be like to be her...to wake up, roll over, and find *him* there, all akimbo, nipples underlined with a belt mark, casting the unmistakable look of lerve. Holy hell, I just lost sight in my right eye simply imagining it.

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