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2017-08-14 - 7:50 p.m.

Fat Cells are Tenacious Buttholes.


I've been remiss again. If I don't stop failing to regularly update this diary, I'm going to start to get very irritated with me. :/ But seriously. Nobody cares and I can write in it or not write in it all I want because even IF someone cared, which I am sure they don't, there's no comments section for anyone to say as much. So. Whatever.

I'll just blurt stuff quickly and have it done. As much as I thought I wanted to write, when I actually sat down to make the effort I was reminded by my back how done I am with this chair. If you want to call it a chair. It's not a chair. It's a rubber exercise ball that I sit on all day while I work.

Shut up, it's comfy and I like to bounce. I mean, it's comfy for a while...and then it's a torture device. Right around noon, it starts getting old. By 5, I'm done with it.

Anyway. I just got out of here, so now that I'm back I want to get out again A.S.A.P., and I still have two :60's to cut tonight so I'm gonna make this unnecessary writing thing pretty quick. Nice, how I just spent 10 minutes making excuses TO MYSELF... ABOUT MYSELF. Lort. My life is lacking substance, here.

I finished It today. I don't care about many movies that come out but I do love that story, so I read it again in preparation. Nothing they can do on the screen can live up to the pictures in my mind that were painted by the story...but I'm still looking forward to see how they tried. The effects now are going to lend a nice touch, I'm sure...but the best cinema is in the mind. It's such a great story and I enjoyed it (again) although I did find myself critiquing King for being a such a DUDE. I'm fed up to my eyeballs with feminist morons and do not count myself among them, but...when the Losers, 6 males and one female, are holding hands and the evil-fighting power courses through them, the men tense up and each demonstrates that fact with a different physical manifestation of the power: one has cords standing out in his neck, another's mouth is working, another's biceps flex with the power, another's eyes bulge, etc...but the girl? The girl has to "buck her hips twice" and orgasm absolutely has to be mentioned. :/ So all the guys just do regular, cool "power stuff", but Beverly's gotta hunch the air. Gotta do an air-pork. Has to do the virtual humpty-hump. Gah.
Nice, Mr. King. There were several more examples but that's the one that really chapped me.

I've been doing things that make me feel good about myself. Eating better, exercising. It's been going on far too long for me to still be this fat, but ya know what? I don't give a rip. You just keep hanging on, fat cells. You bishes are gonna have to let go sometime, when I don't stop doing what I'm doing. Oh, sure, all the other heifers who do the eating plan I'm doing can rave on and on about how they lost half their STUPID body weight in the first four days while I languish at the same weight for weeks and weeks on end, still looking like I am enjoying the fruits of Sonic, but I will NOT be deterred, ya sorry bastards. I will NOT stop until I am where I want to be and when I get there, you knockers of farts, you blubbery spheres of disfigurement, you sorry suckers of life, ruiners of fun, spoilers of jeans, I shall RIDICULE YOU ALL for your feeble and failed attempt to keep me embarrassed by my size. Eff a bag of YOU, I'm going to win this time. Because I see myself in a different light now, and I want it MUCH more than I want ice cream or bread. BISHES.

I don't hate the mirror anymore. It's been a long time coming and I'm greatly relieved...but far from finished. Luckily, this eating plan isn't too difficult once you're in the swing of it...and I'll probably maintain some semblance of this eating plan all my life since it's anti-inflammatory and my body needs that.

What else? ...well...there's a big thing that keeps playing on my mind, about how I don't feel bad anymore and THAT is making me feel bad...but I bet I already wrote about that. I need to get these commercials cut so I can go make crafts with my kid.

I'll tell you (again) next time.

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