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Comments:
artgnome - 2007-08-10 06:53:26
I don't know about the laws in your state, but in mine, I would be reporting the father to child protective for his little stunt and having him investigated in order to prove that the father needs to be on supervised visitation, meaning he cannot see his children without legal supervision. Also, my court order has set out the dates and times of visitation, meaning my ex can only see the boy at those dates and times and if he fucks up, I set him back to the court order. Plus, my friend, hear this good, give jerks like this an inch of being nice, and they only take advantage. Be tough, be a bitch, for your son's best interest. No picking him up at odd hours without at least 48 hours notice. People that manipulated need BOUNDARIES, lots of very well set, leash pulling boundaries, and over time, believe it or not, they learn to respect them. My prayers go out to you with this. I have learned it all from experience. peace.
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Myramains - 2007-08-10 09:51:40
Thanks, Art. I appreciate a voice of experience. I have 100% custody...visitation was never "set" as I left him due to his substance abuse (which then was a problem, but now, as predicted, has become an hulking beast...) and warned him that if he tried to fight me for custody, I'd reveal what his issues are to the court in short order. I've just been allowing him to see them when he wishes, provided it is by day, he is not drinking, and the kids are returned to me before their bedtime. Well, suffice to say he's blown that to hell. He screwed up the only rules there were. I'm tired of being nice, and I think anyone who'd make such a display before their young son deserves ZERO consideration.
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artgnome - 2007-08-10 12:32:35
Well, my friend, you are in a much better position than I have ever been in this arena. You should not waste your time being "nice" to someone who has not a fathom of understanding of the concept. Being nice gets you nowhere with a person that is controlled by a chemical, most of the time, the person is not even home. I know it hurts to see your children discovering what their father is, but it is the poor example of my parents that taught me how NOT to be and is making me the success story that I am working on becoming. :)
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Teets - 2007-08-10 13:41:24
Lots of times an addict has to hit rock bottom to realize they have to get control of their life. Unpleasant realities pave the way to rock bottom. They have to lose everything and be told flat out, with no candy coating, exactly what they are and why they are not allowed to be with their family anymore, have a house, a job, kids, etc. They need a fat dose of harsh reality, not allowing for any of their convenient excuses. I hope something makes him recognize what he's doing.
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MyraMains - 2007-08-10 22:07:47
Teets, you're right...but who knows what rock bottom is for Kevin? He's already lost his family. That would have been the worst, were it me. How much farther does he need to go? Must he grow one of those huge boils that alcoholics get? Sample dialyses? I can't stand it. And Art, I hate to hear you had it bad. I hope that's all passed for you...congrats on having the cojones necessary to rise above a bad example! I hope my kids do that. You nailed it when you said, "it hurts to see your children discovering what their father is". That's so true; it's the worst thing, seeing the truth dawn on my son. All he wants is to be proud of the man, and he's finding there is not much to work with. I feel so bad for him.
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danjeruskurves - 2007-08-11 14:31:31
I simply cannot put it any better than Art already did.
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OBF - 2007-08-14 23:24:48
Its actually worse to read than it was to hear. My junior cadet psychology merit badge tells me that you gots lotsa issue with this based on the humor disguise it wore when you told your sister.
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MyraMains - 2007-08-15 00:50:58
I'm not a comfortable hysterical crier. When I want to do that, I curse wildly and laugh too loud instead. It's less embarrassing...
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