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2007-06-27 - 8:05 p.m. JUST STUFF Today was the hottest of hot days. Louisiana is famous for nothing if not it's life-sucking humidity and today was a REAL beauty. I've been sweating like a whore in church at every exposure to it, however small. What a great day to come home to a broken AC unit! I shoved the door inward, ready to feel that delicious, ice-box blast upon entering the house, and my hair was blown back with a very warm, very moist puff of pure discomfort. Gah. I just called a guy who's no doubt gonna charge a sweet fee for coming out after hours, and on top of that, he had the nerve to sound put off by it! I don't care how much it sucks for him...I don't require service with a smile, I just want to be free from this humid armpit and back in my cool cavehouse. So my 5 year old daughter Libby has a wart, and it looks like it might fall off. (...and how's that sandwich tasting?...) So I says to her, "I wonder if there's any such thing as a Wart Fairy? If so, I bet she's ugly!" And Libby says, "Yeah! She's probably just meat, that flies!" I battled over whether to tell this last. It's a true invasion of privacy...so to avoid being the worst person in the world, I'll be very general. A certain person in the household keeps the telephone book in his room, and moments ago as I searched said phonebook for the number of "You're Disturbing Us Air Conditioning and Heating", I happened to notice a tube under Mister X's pillow. A tube of lotion. A tube of SUNLESS TANNING LOTION. I can't wait till he gets home!!!! "You know, masturbation can cause it to turn orangey-brown...which everyone knows is the first sign of penile necrosis."
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