2007-06-23 - 11:50 a.m.

IF THIS GETS ERASED BEFORE I CAN POST IT, I'M COMIN TO YOUR HOUSE TO BEAT YOU UP, ANDY

All kinds of crazy mess has gone on since I last wrote in this diary, and if I'm right, I am about to lose my precious ability to show pictures here 'cause Andy's gonna want another chunk of change in a day or so...and I'm not sure I want to cough it up...

I wrote an entry a few days ago, telling the tale of how Wilberteets has moved to Houston and a few assorted bits from my reality along with a cute shot of my daughter's wacky, snaggletoothed grill, but upon hitting the "done!" button below, the entire thing was lost. I was too furious to try to recreate it, and just stared at the screen mute for several long moments before walking away to prevent myself from inflicting damage upon my computer.

I'm back to try it again, and am saving my prattle frequently to avoid another complete and infuriating loss. I'll be brief about it all, too, 'cause frankly, I'm hungry and my foot itches and although I've only been sitting here typing for, say, 5 minutes, I am quite short of attention span and ready to move on to the next thing. So here's the major stuff: Teets moved. The hospital wants her full time and the cash was too good to resist. She's left me with the house, and has boogered off to Houston where she has gotten a swanky new apartment on the outskirts of town. She is filling it with keen new furniture (including a crazy new vibrating recliner) and is very pleased with the situation, which makes us happy because we don't want her to be sad, and we thought she might be. After all, what is sadder than leaving behind the fighting duo of whiny destruction in the cat-hair-covered den of sticky stains and disrepair? We were absolutely sure she'd be miserable. What a pleasant surprise to find that sparkling cleanliness, complete control of the television, and an utter lack of fighting, yelling nitwit children completely made up for any pangs of lonliness our Teeter may have experienced! We are happy for her.

Second, I've been working out and it's true...if you do it enough, you start to like it! That's nuts.

Third, I havent worked out for over a week because I've been on the Gulf Coast with my minions spending all my extra money and acquiring a disgusting rash that crawls the circumfernce of both my ankles each and every motherf'in time I get anywhere remotely NEAR a beach. This time the disgusting affliction has become even more ambitious, covering the near-entirety of my right knee with it's orange-peel-like texture and insane itchiness. Oh, wuld you look at this! To my UNENDING horror, I've just found a patch of it on my left inner thigh, too! Joy of joys! WHAT THE F**K IS IT AND WHYYYYYYYYYY DOES IT HAPPEN TO ME?????????????

Okay...I'm hungry. Leper's gotta eat...so let me show you a couple pics and then I'm going for the raisin bran box before my fingers become two molten stalks of disease unable to flip open
a fackin boxtop.

Here's my boy, in the picture that he cannot WAIT to have made into a t-shirt, complete with the caption, "So, what did YOU do on YOUR vacation?"

And here's shortie, with her funny grill.

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