2016-06-27 - 1:27 a.m.

I Knew It Was Coming.

I waited for that shoe to drop. I surely did. After a lifetime of being an after thought, a life time of being disappointed and mistreated by the one who was supposed to love me, I FINALLY found the one who truly DID love me. And I got a good five minutes with him before he died. For a while there, for five years, I wasn't alone, or lonely, or sad. I felt loved, comforted, protected, valued. I had enough. I was loving it. And I was waiting...for the "other shoe" to drop.

And it turns out, that other shoe... is a mountain boot.

With spikes.

You get 5 years of love and comfort, and then let's get back to a dead husband, losing your home and finding out you're sick.

I won't accept it of course. I'm afraid to write it down, even now. I'll probably erase it later because I'm going into fight mode.
But apparently...

I have an issue. Losing the love of my life, my home and my dream with him just isn't QUITE enough.

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