2006-06-28 - 4:41 p.m.

DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS

Geez. I'm horrible.

Every now and then the hormones just go bananas and I find myself thinking about *most* unacceptable things. It�s involuntary, really, because if I could stop some of the thoughts, I WOULD. Almost no male, no matter how wretched, ugly or old, is exempt, save for the very obviously gay ones. Fortunately, my face gives away nothing of my ideas, so the featured have no clue of the evil that lurks within. I appall myself. I've more than once caught me shaking my head over the places my brain will sometimes go. Hope it's normal.

On to the shame portion of the day: Today I had a big, fat, loud, trivial argument with an obnoxious friend over who played �The Mummy� (1999), and I suffered an egregious loss. I fought valiantly to drive home my truth which turned out to be �I'm a huge ninny.�

I was SURE it was Billy Zane, but of course, it�s not. It's someone who VAGUELY resembles Billy Zane.

I don�t CARE who played the mummy and don�t know how it became a contest, but it did. Before I knew it I was gloating furiously, in rare form and hammering my opponent relentlessly, only to be smacked down like a bitch with the mackerel of reality, and by a loudmouthed gay man no less. I should know to *instantly* doubt myself any time I am CERTAIN that I�m right. Usually, the rare times I get cocky are the very times when I am revealed as a mental invalid.

I already had the moron hat on, so I stood by my wrongness. I told my stupid friend that the Mummy IS Billy Zane and that he had obviously manipulated the internet through some sort of improper relationship with Al Gore just to try to trick me into looking bad but that it was NOT going to work because, in my world, Billy Zane IS The Mummy and "YOU, John, are an ass goblin."

That's right. I win, beeyotch.

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